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klary
Email: klary@usa.net
Subject: Apple: Not dead yet.
You know, with the constant "apple is dead" comments I see around here and in the prss, I can't help but be reminded of the Monty Python "Bring out yer' dead" skit.
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Consumer: What kind of computer should I buy?
Wintel user : Don't buy a Mac...they are made by Apple and Apple is dead.
Apple: I'm not dead!
Consumer: (suprised) What?
Wintel User: Nothing! For only $1000 you can get this 200MHZ PII....
Apple: I'm not dead! G3s are faster than PIIs!
Consumer: 'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead! 'E sez he's faster
than a Pentium!
Wintel User: No, he is dead.
Apple: I'm not! I sold 2 million copies of OS8, Quicktime just got adopted as the basis for the MPEG3 ISO standard, we created Firewire; that new communications standard for digital media...
Consumer: 'E isn't?
Wintel User: Well... he will be soon-- he's very ill...
Apple: I'm getting better! Our costs are down, we trimmed the unprofitable divisions from our company, sales are up! Our profit margin is higher than any other personal computer maker, and we're making money while our competitors are reporting reduced profits, our stock is up over 100% since the beginning of the year, investors say now is a good time to buy our stock, ...
Wintel User: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
COnsumer: I think I might get a Mac....
Apple: Look at our new Ads, see? Our machines are FASTER than pentium IIs...
Wintel User: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Consumer: 'E doesn't *look* dead....
Apple: I feel fine!
Wintel User: Can you wait a couple of months? He won't be long...
Consumer: No, I really want a computer NOW and Apple looks like a good choice.
Wintel User: Well, when will you be buying your NEXT computer?
Consumer: Not for a few years.
Apple: I think I'll go develop a new consumer internet device....
Wintel User: You're not fooling anyone, you know--(to Consumer) Look, isn't there some way I can convince you to buy a wintel machine...?
(they both look around)
Apple: I feel happy! I feel happy!
(Wintel User continues to spread false info about Apple and the Mac till Consumer finally decides to purchase a wintel machine)
Sure it's pro-mac, but it's still funny. It just goes to show that even a suspiciously prolific poster like klary does have a sense of humor, even if he's oft to split hairs down to the sub-atomic level.
-mgabrys
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