Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

August 16

Well, dull surprise and suffice it to say that the iMac freak show hasn't abated with all manner of boobs running amok - and nor will the iMac boobs come off of the front door until they stop. Our next contenstant in the coverage campeign - MSNBC's Gary Krakow - who besides being overly Polish - doesn't quite buy into the iMac hype. Not that he was burrying this sentament or anything. At least not with a headline like "Apple's iMac, what were they thinking?". Already geared up for a flame fest from the Apple faithful, he continued on with spot-on soundbites like quote - "in spite of being a Mac fan (a not unusual plea for pitty from the Jihad), it looks like a toy - perfect for a child's room". I guess we now know why Apple's been bundling infantile video footage of "sparky and his dog and pony show" in the packaging all this time - it's obviously not an adult product by any stretch of the imagination. He continues on - "And at 38 pounds - it's heavy - not the perfect portable for carrying across college campuses (paraphrased)". His largest complaint? The USB ports which have yet to be allowed to do anything usefull except in limited areas that have access to the imation superdisk drive that is in rare supply. His quote in all this? - "It's in! It's hip - and unfortunately it's the only way to attach anything to the iMac". His bottem line, is pretty much what I've been going on about for several weeks running. That when you get right down to it, there's plenty of other cheaper PC's that will get more done - with most of the same user-friendlyness that is available for Mac users which pretty much summs up why the hell there's so many Windows users to begin with. The MacJihad can go on and on and on (and they will until Apple cacks that big one) about Apple's superior use argument - but the rest of the planet hasn't really been buying it. Either the metaphor - or the product. But Mr. Krakow leaves us with a soundbite that is ripe for the ages - or painful irony when the loyalist user frenzy is over and done with. Last quote - "But I'm sure the iMac will be a very big hit, it has to be. It's TURQOISE!". I can't believe that even though Gary was making a joke - the MacJihad would actually make this a bone of pride and contention as a prime selling point. What's really warped though - is that even in one of Apple's own iMac commercials - this is the prime reason to plunk down 1300 - 1500 for a computer. Well, I've got a website that you might be interrested that applies to another computer that was using style as it's primary selling point - the NeXT. Check out the prices on these clunkers at BlackHole technology. Sure they look great - and at 500 bucks or less for a used box that was designed by Steve Jobs and FrogDesign, you'll have a great companion piece that will not only look swell next to the iMac, but will be about as relevent in a few years. You have my word on it.

August 17
Also at MSNBC - after all they had a whole frigging section devoted to the iMac launch - finally an argument about the iMac that doesn't just bring up the tired USB, floppy, and color of the damn thing. How about usability boys and girls! Yes, I've gone on for weeks about a niche box for niche people - and most importantly - niche fringe lunatics. Well, at least one reporter, Bob Sullivan, got the clue at MSNBC - at extreme peril I'm sure to his e-mailbox no doubt. Quote "if you can't find software to do the things you want to do - don't just buy the thing and hope for the best". Right now I'd say that it's not only a good general rule of thumb - but is particularly on target if you want to do something printer related. It seems that early reports of the iMac USB converters still puts it out of reach of most printers for the next 60-90 days at Apple's estimate. So it would seem that if you hope to do any word processing on it's bundled software, you'd better have a large amount of patience or e-mail access to a real computer that can do basic things - like print and stuff. But don't worry - you'll have the most cool looking disfunctional computer on your block. Who needs practicality when you can have the newest, best hyped, and most tastefully designed (like a mustard belch) computer of the last 4 years staring at you blankly with your document like an invalid in a mosh pit of real productivity. Lord knows, if you're going to make a fashion statement the first thing you should cast aside is any logic of practicality or usability - and that's exactly what Bob is suggesting. Since he's with MSNBC I seriously doubt that anyone who already has their heart set in the Mac Brat Pack will give a damn - but you can't blame a guy for trying I guess.

August 18

Finally something not related to the iMac to observe and make commentary on. Well - almost. Pretty much, bear with the near-miss of hypocracy that I have to get into the relm of rational thought. Ok. I've got it. MSNBC again besides having full coverage of the iMac rollout - with more positive words overall than even C-net's coverage - has something Mac related that is almost completely untainted by the iMac itself which makes for interresting copy on the MacFanatic and Apple computer in general. Also noted in last week's Enfants Terribles d'Électronique, which should still be up by the time you read this since I update that more mid-week than this place which get's refreshed Monday mornings at the latest (otherwise check the back issues), is MSNBC's technology BBS. I mean this is beyond wierd. It seems that their roundtable is designed to talk about all things technology related that appears in the forefront of the news. At least it's supposed to be - except the MacJihad have been spamming the beejezus out of the board - to the tune of over 15 massive pages as of this writing about the Macintosh, Apple computer, and the iMac. Unfortunately since this is a general tech BBS, most particants are either scratching their heads or would just really wish they would shut the fuck up. Much like my own (still being rewired) BBS, there's really just 3 or so tenacious nerd-malcontents that are spoiling the whole thing for the general populace which doesn't on the whole care for things Apple related as much as what is happening in the real world. Still, you can't blame the lunatic fringe for trying I guess. It's just a pitty that while their web-site is moderated - MSNBC can't seem to get the chatter out of the WWF warzone of things when it comes to IQ level. That's why - in spite of a few options that would allow the BBBS to come back online faster than current efforts - I refuse to cowtow to such idocy as non-facist approaches to chat moderation. Not only is gonging DAMN FUN - but it does attact a better class of users much as a simple doorman at a nightclub can up the ante of the clientelle. So bear with MSNBC and their slack-ass approach to chat moderation - I'm sure once the inital hype of the iMac abates it will be same as usual. And as for me? I'm enjoying not having to watch my own online interactive outlets with the eye of a hawk daily to prevent a devolution of thought by Mac spammers. But don't worry - soon it WILL be back online - one way or another - and you can go ballistic defending your own OS choice regardless of what the extreeme Apple-bias set will think. Who knows. Perhaps we'll get another "leak" and the whole thing will collapse under it's own weight - yet again!

August 19

Well here's an iMac intoduction shocker - one for the "I told you so" files in fact. The iMac is out - and there's nothing else for it to play with in the USB department. At MacWorld they purchased in advance their testing units - and yet - it can't print, it can't save to anything not on the network - in fact there's nothing they can do apart from running internal benchmarks since Apple has promissed they might be able to acutally do something with the unit in 60-90 days. That is if you already overlook Apple's assertion that this wasn't supposed to be the case in the first place. Remember? There were all those USB developers? Now what do you think are holding them up? Perhaps it's the more than a little obvious push for Apple to make all these little darling peripheral manufactueres make their products look like the iMac. Don't laugh - it happened before with NeXT. Every damn product had to be black and look like it was inspired by FrogDesign. If it didn't - there were plenty of micromanged Steve Jobs memos to fill the in boxes of manufacturers everywhere. What is curious is rumors that the current iMac is the first color permutation of a whole half dozen of available designer colors that will be made available in 1999. Soooo what happens to all these Aqua Marine add ons? Are they going to have to match the next round of colors as well? Is this going to impact their ability to keep up with the designer whims of Apple. Well just have to wait and see. In the meantime I wish you luck in getting your own iMac to do anything significant because lord knows, if MacWorld magazine can't find something to test with the iMac - what chance do you have?

August 20

It's not just an iMac pitch - it's St-St-St-Steve Jobs Headroom! Also noted recently at EFE, is Steve Jobs' and his canned PR campeign. This one came up on radar at ZDnet TV where a quasi-fake Steve Jobs fielded "questions" sent out on PR sheets to ABC, CBS, FOXnews, and CNN as to the current state of the Mac, and Apple as well as concerns about a floppyless computer and other nibbly bits. Basically what you got if you were a "news" (or entertainment director I susepct) at ABC was a reel of staged responses and a script to ask the typical "hard-hitting journalism" that we've come to know and love so well from the popular press. In this case you couldn't really ask anything unique because if it wasn't in the carefully spin-doctored PR manifesto - you were shit out of luck. It's interresting to note that this wasn't the case with one - favorite - news provider. CNBC didn't put up with his prima - donna PR speak this time around and got a live body interview with his holyness. Probably because the last time they featured Jobs, he - and his ego - walked right off the set. Well with good warm and fuzzy raport like that - do you think the premiere investor network would taint it's reputation with a low-brow-bow to the PR machine at Apple? Fuck no. They got him live and direct - without the neon background and bizzare speach stuttering. To put this into historical perspective - again - this isn't anything new for both the news communtiy - or for Steve Jobs. Because Jobs' time and message must be focussed for his star-power, when the NeXT was introduced a decade ago - there was plenty of bizzare restrictions in place that kept hardcore journalists away at bay - and far from the major questions that might have impacted NeXT negatively or at least raised a red-flag to investors. There was at least one former White House correspondent from ABC back then that commented that "Steve would have been ripped to pieces if there were any real reporters in the crowd". Instead - those questions that deserved an answer - like the educational market only crowd being a seed for expensive sluggish computers in terms of sales - was brushed off for other questions that related to showing off the computer in the best possible light. With all the havoc at Apple today - combined with the fact that it's a publically traded company - Steve couldn't even make a case for showing up live to most of the major news outlets that he decided was worthy of his attention. Do you think I'm surprised by all this? You know the line.

August 21

I finally saw all of the iMac ads on Apple's website over lunch and the T1 at work. Lord knows, there was little actual hope that any of them was going to be seen on TV given Chiat-Day's lame attempts at market buys on television these days for what amounts to a low-ball account in spite of the several hundred million that they have raked in to date. A national burst just costs serious dough these days - and a 100 million dollars doesn't buy that much national airtime - let alone cable and regional buys as it used to. Given Apple's inflated budget for exposure - it still only amounts to a coastal one of those with way too much money going into specialty slots like Seinfield - which already have commanded more money than mere Super Bowl slots. But low exposure nonwithstanding - out of 4 retrograde vintage Chiat-Day spots that reeked of 1985 Chait-Day style ads - (like the manual spots - you remember - the one's with the instructions plopping down next to a PC and a Mac - not that anyone gave a shit mind you because reading is cheaper than the other paper that you would have needed to shell out for a computer that was tapped out as far as productivity applications were concerned) there was one that was done pretty damn well. The rest of the spots - in spite of Jeff Goldblum doing the VO talent were the usual run of the mill pompous arguments that we've all heard before (exept for the 3 "steps" one which blows by PPP/Slip configs and other things you have to do to get on the internet if you're not going the AOhell rouhte). It's a pitty that the argument was not only a mismatch in terms of target audience - but in also in mere rational thought. If you go to the Apple website you'll find a quicktime under the heading of "traffic". It's a voice-overless piece that showcases a rats nest of wires on a Wintel, similar to the nest that I used to have with my (now unloaded) Quadra 800, admist a din of traffic noise with the iMac panned into view with Bambi sounds folicking around it. A well produced message with high irony for good measure. Pitty the premise sucked. Because lo and behold - if you had gotten a traditional Macintosh, Power Macintosh or tower G3 - you probably recognized the same cable havoc that was on display. Suffice it to say that besides insulting their own purchasers of non-iMac computers with the same poingiont attack befitting Wintel users on national TV, it's really not that strong of an argument. It is a bizzare fixation on asthetics for a box that get's work done and hasn't really - in more than 15 years - made any serious inroads with the designer set. Of course, I actually hope that the market evolves in this direction - because I've got some designer Wintel ideas of myself. In the meantime, it's nice to know that Apple will continue to confuse and befuddle an audience that doesn't really recognize their high priced - low exposure message and will continue to buy computers for price not looks. Way to spend those ad dollars Apple.

August 22

Now this might seem to be a week doomsayer argument - but I'm going to go there anyway. More than a couple of sites have pointed out that the short supply problems that have always plauged Apple might be a more significant impact factor than even I had previously commented on (at least I'm pretty sure I've commented on it - lord knows I've beaten this box's strategy to death already). It's already been noted by testimony on several chat boards - as well as the MacJihad lists - that many customers out to buy their first computer have found themselves looking at the iMac demonstration models - then have discovered that they're out of stock. Do they go home and wait like little fan girls and boys for them to restock the shelves for the computer they've taken a passing glance at? No. They head straight for the Wintel section and take home their new computer that suits their needs just fine - thankyouverymuch. Now, this is an interresting development - not because it's unique if you've ever seen people shop for merchandise before - but because not only does it make the MacJihad's heart cringe, but by Xmas we may see this occur more frequently than not. I mean get this. By the time Apple actually meets supply and demand, and get's the iMac's defective ratio below 15% failure rate, it could be well into February 1999. Naturally it's no big deal to meet demand in Febrary because the landslide of computer purchases will have concluded - and I can guarantee that most of them will be Wintel. This is a cop-out argument as well because Wintels have ALWAYS been the fave come the 4th quater of the year. The reason for this is because Apple - as always - is competiting with a slew of companies - not just Microsoft as the Jihad are always going on about. So while Compaq, Dell, Sony, Acer, Gateway, and a shitload of other companies are dividing up the Xmas cheer - Apple as always will be struggling to just build what they've been advertising - and missing the majority of purchases once again. The irony this time is that the people that they're drawing into the computer store this time around - will go home with a Wintel specifically because they might have seen an Apple advertisement for the iMac. I'll say this though. For all the money spent on this massive PR push - Apple deserves a round of thanks from the Wintel OEM's for boosting their bottem line even further don't you think?