Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

June 28

Well, the news is in lull mode until the MacWorld expo that Steve Jobs isn't appearing in. Go figure - me I'm not buying it. There's GOT to be some surprise BS up his shirt unless he's on vacation or is distancing himself from the demolition derby in progress. So it's onto the corporate moutpiece sites - otherwise known as advocacy sites - to find some dirt. Well here's a goodie! These guys - aka - MacOpinion, actually posted an article titled - I'm not kidding - "Why Windows 95 is better than MacOS". What the hell I thought and snapped bolt-upright in a heartbeat. Well, obviously to make an entrance into an Apple egg-sucking site you have to admit that you're "kidding" or are not "serious" or will otherwise turn in your aunt to avoid a raging mob of MacJihadists. Well, they started well enough by actually pointing out how - believe it or not - the Mac GUI has actually become so dated, that Windows 95 is actually more intuitive and laid out better. And he's not kidding either! I mean, if I can reach way back into the grey matter to 1986 I can actually relate to his points - he's that on target. If you haven't gone to the link, the point is if you walk up to the Mac - having never used the damn thing before - on the screen are a few icons, one named Mac HD - File, Edit, Special, and an Apple icon amongst other things. So now what? He then points out that on Windows 95 there's actually words saying "start" that show you were everyting is as well as a hard drive named my computer which also is a tad more inviting. Actually if I could warp time around a black hole at will, and put both first time experiences with both GUI's I'd point out that copying a file is a hell of a lot more intuitive with Windows than the Mac. How you say? Well, providing I'd at least clicked on the right mouse button a couple of times I'd probably had noticed the menu of what I could do with a file in the window. Like copy, make shortcut etc. With the Mac you had to know to drag the file onto something else - as well as know that in spite of all this clicking and dragging that dragging a disk to the trash didn't delete data. Coming from Atari's, Commodores, IBM PC's, Apple II's I just wanted to know where the command for copy was - not learn some cryptic lesson in Xeroxthink. Windows does both by actually cluing you into what the hell you're doing. That's why it's ironic and trajic that eventually a pro-Apple site would actually lock on to the fact that the GUI of the Mac has been shagged into absolute wierdness ever since Bill Atkinson left the building (of course he didn't connect why it got shagged he just noticed it was shagged in the first place). After a few basic observations he trails off and blows what would have been an otherwise spot-on observation piece. But among the thing he really misses is why so many newbies to the tech scene are claiming that the Mac GUI is not really that ahead of Windows - and in some bold cases of columnist bravado - it's even behind. I'll clue you into the juicy bit. The fact that newbies can in fact get into the productivity mode with Windows vs blindly discovering what the hell the Mac GUI is all about is what is causing all the new buyers of the ever-expanding Wintel market to scratch their heads when they claim that Windows is so far "behind" the Mac. I can even claim personal proof in this veign because my own mother had to be demo'ed through the MacOS and even bought a book on it. After the Mac Plus lost it's shine, they got - whoduthunkit - a Wintel. Now my mom is a desktop PC pro compared to my Dad who - in spite of programming from scratch Fortran simulations of rockets and airframe designs into computers that are the stuff of 70's sci-fi backdrops, with reel to reel tape drives and teletypes as loud as firecracker strings - had no idea what the hell to make of all the pretty picture crap intially. Well that learning curve flew by once he got his hands on Windows 95 and you know what? There's not been a single book purchased to help them along - and I haven't gotten late-night phone calls to explain why the OS has locked up and lost their files like when I pawned my Mac on off to my Mom. Even better I haven't had to tell them what to look out for in brining their disks to the office - unless there's a Mac involved of course. If there's any guilt in my life, it's that I sold them a Mac in the first place - which is now gathering dust in the corner, with an outstanding option for me to repurchase for 100 bucks to convert into a fish tank. It's just nice to know that an "inferior" OS has let me sleep more than the one from California.

June 29
More advocacy sites because Apple has managed to stay out of the disaster chonicles for a whole 3 days - a record if you ask me. Mackido steps up to the plate and whoosh! This little site is the same site that linked me in their - horror of horrors - the "Darkside" section and otherwise lied and sladendered to the best of their ability regarding spam and the like which I neither advocate or participate in. Mostly because I don't have time for such rubbish. Granted I'm biased as hell (I mean I haven't claimed that they eat worms have I? Then again.....perhaps they do....perhaps they do!), but I don't slag off until I have a decent link or reference to work with on their behalf. Well here's some prime cut USDA slag. While I don't advocate spamming - as noted in the why section, it would appear that the lacking moral MacJihad contingent at Mackido in fact DO. Hows THAT for irony! I mean here I am being all defensive from their bullshit, and they are actually not only advocating spamming the beejezus out of anyone who doesn't pray to the fuit-god, but they even have a form letter to help you do it! How fucking nice of them! I "could" sink to their level and put a similar letter in the download section for your convenience for a rebuttle - but no. I really don't care enough about religious holy wars involving OS's to even tempt the thought. After all I'm here to make fun of assholes who advocate such conduct. Not encourage it. And that's where "the Apple Doomsday Clock" and "mackido" differ in goals. I don't take anything seriously, particularly tools like hammers, pencils, and computers. Obviously we're seeing a sperm bath fest of unheard of proportions when the MacJihad actually now are organizing form letter like the retro goosesteppers - the Moral Majority. We're not talking fanboy shit run amok anymore - now it's book burning time! Or at least a flame fest for the nearest port of the first newspaper that says dirty word one against Apple. Bizzare? You bet! Ironic- fur sure! Do I love it? Don't even begin to count the ways!

June 30

If you ever think I jump at the first lead for a story and puke my guts out all over this page - here's your chance to be found out wrong. I'd been tracking this rumor from MacOSRumors to other newsites with rumor mill columns but until MacWeek's Mac the Knife spoke then I knew I was onto something. At least for the moment. It seems that WebObjects is on the outs with Apple. Yep the last vestigates of NeXT that Apple paid - oh - 400 million plus dollar for (chump change for Microsoft - I know, I know) is in the get the fuck out of here zone. Besides the obvious duh factor for a product that I actually sold - and had a hell of a time justifying to buyers in terms of value, mission critical statement, support and everything else an otherwise sane tech purchasing department might otherwise be interrested in - it would seem that the religion for this product stopped right at Christ - aka: Steve Jobs. Soooooo what the hell did Apple buy anyway? I mean really 400 million for a new OS? Not really with the disolvment of Rhapsody. NeXTtime? Not with Quicktime on the forefront. Hardware design? Not since NeXT bounced a check in front of FrogDesign. So what did Apple get for it's 400 million. What indeed? A guy who made out like a bandit from the deal? Bingo! Well now that - that's settled with the investors, onto better and bigger things!

July 01

As the mighty WebObjects fades gracefully into the night with the same idiots who actually paid for OpenDoc development kits - all I have to wonder is, did Apple at least say "here are the development funds - but thanks for paying?". One wonders indeed because here's another deep dark dirty secret that the MacJihad might have otherwise missed. WebObjects cost 100K for a real developers suite tied into a decent developers license. Whether this tech ever sees the light of day again is a wonder one of those - but suffice it to say that if you paid for Steve Jobs' dung in the last 10 years you were surely smelling like Texas. But don't worry, all you WebObject suckers, you've got great company in the form of all the other Apple developers who have seen various projects fall apart completely - just after they sent in their money for the toolkits and publishing packages. Besides, there's plenty of crying towles left over from the OpenDoc fiasco. Here was a product that was to usher in Apple's new networking and enterprise level offerings which would provide a sorely needed rationale for Apple to be adopted for serious business work instead of overpriced word-processing stations that were being muscled out of the picture by ever cheaper Wintels. Amongst the piles of hype and promises involving methods for linking workgroups and various server based solutions for large scale project management. Scratch that one, not only the API's but the whole damn server group as well. They've all been sent packing lately and Apple's all but given up on enterprise computing. At least that was until the MacJihad started crowing on about how WebObjects would breathe new life into the rotting corpse of enterprise developments with fruit logos on them. Well, it was obvious with the layoffs and the dismantlement of the server technologies group, that this wasn't a solution that was on the front-burner by a long-shot. And now that WebObjects is all but officially dead - the Apple peanut gallery can find something else to rah - rah on about because they've been blind sided almost as painfully as the developers in the credibility department. Let me know what comes up NeXT will ya?

July 02

Universities are now battling the largest amount of computer industry related bullshit of all time as the fiscal wars grows from the usual battle of the campus bids to the new vollys of finger pointing from concerned (and financially strapped) parent wondering why the hell Johnny has to buy a frigging Macintosh when everyone in the professional workplace isn't using the damn things? It's ironic because while most universities have either phased out or no longer have Apple's on the menu for incoming freshmen, those schools silly enough to actually crow publically how they're adopting the iMac for new students - usually finds itself with their backs against the wall explaining how they're "announcement" was a mere marketing rally for it's Apple authorization status. This combined with the fact that with all the rah-rah hype going around they were merely following goosestep with Apple and the press anyway. Most - if not all - of the Universites have backtracked and fessed up that they are also offereing other compuers - namely Wintels - and that they are not exclusively a Mac campus. Which is patently obvious since most university software is now Windows only, coupled with the fact that no developer program/comp-sci class has been Mac only - ever. What's more insideous though, is that Apple is pulling yet another Atari move with it's position of not only selling computers to the K-12 set but is actually linking their infomercials into the classroom for political power points on naive kids - or worse - kids that don't like Apple's anyway because there's nothing fun to do on them softwarewise. The direct marketing/infomercial approach is not new in the slightest, but merely slimey in the 80s sense of the word. It's coupled with Atari specifically because back in 1983 and 1984, Atari tried various "road-shows" and "presentations" direct to kids and faculty to "introduce" them to the world of personal computers. This was not only cheesy - but pathetic since most of the schools they "presented" at, already had computers and computer labs - not to mention a high percentage of kids that had their own computers already. What was more obvious was that it was vital that kids not only learn computers - but specifically "Atari" computers. Just the same way Apple is probably running panic scnearios of trumped up demographics about web site creation and publishing to the little dears today. The web statistic I find particularly loathsome, since I've yet to find a serious hardcore ISP type who would otherwise touch a Mac - let alone develop and maintain a site on one. Every professional office - as opposed to two "Bobs and a modem, we'll build you a website for 100 bucks" - is either running unix boxes or NT development stations. If Apple does run that joker out of the deck in front of the kids, there's going to be a lot of blank stares across the job interview desk I can tell you - and a lot of really pissed off parents. That is if the parents aren't already perplexed as to why their tax dollars are supporting Apple rather than the computers they use at work and at home already. This could be one hell of a long term marketing time bomb waiting to go off in any case.

July 03

Apple sheds another 20 million dollars in assets and about 200 workers at last count according to MacWeek (not 150 as some of the MacJihad might otherwise report in the bbbs section). This time in the form of PCBA manufacturing equipment to the same Singapore buyers - NATSTEEL - that purchased all the board fabrication material from Apple in their native turf back in 1997. Well this time it's not Singaporean Apple employees getting the short shift, it's the Irish in Cork Ireland. The media there already are getting reports that the whole operation may be headed for the rocks, although of course Apple is denying this enivetable shrinkage on their part. Still, I'm sure it makes narry a difference to the 200 Irish workers doing the jobless jig. Ironcially this all comes on the heels that Apple is hiring a few hundred workers to help build the iMac - but what it really amounts to is a tranfer of payroll for the existing blue-collar employee base. And if Cork does completely shut down - then they'll be able to do it gradually rather than stir up a ton of bad PR globally by dropping the bomb all at once. Certainly a strong creator of computers - one that just bought and shut down the clone market en-totum to facilitate a stronger builder presance in the desktop market would be opening up more plants to placate the orders and demands for their computers wouldn't they? Catch-phrase time. Think.....

July 04

Whoosh Bang goes another week for the Doomday clock. And as another year approaches for our continuing coverage, the last of 1998's cover artwork for this site has been designed and fabricated, mac free of course. The last issue of the year not only follows the November cover for irony, but will lead the 1999's theme with a change from historical cult of personalities and their icons, to the real people who thought different from the mid 70's to the early 80's. No not the people who began the desktop computer business - but the people who didn't give a shit about marketing tripe, corporate boosterism - and most of all - conventional thinking about life and politics. I'm refering to punks of course - and I'm only leading this concept 6 months in advance to offer a little bit in the form of reader participation on what people fit the mold in your book. Just send in your suggestions to me and I'll begin the process of ferriting out legal artwork to be used, and announce the winners in the suggestion box here. In other news wrapping up the week, the MacMarines for all intensive purposes seem deader than a doornail. Perhaps that little "hacking" incident got them more incoming fire than they bargined for. In either case, for at least 4 days running they've been off the radar. I'll be dancing in the graveyard later tonight so feel free to bring a six pack and join me. Naughty newsbit according to MacCentral, Insignia solutions has predicted a larger quarterly loss for the upcoming July 22 results after a shabby 1st quarter as a result of lackluster sales of SoftWindows for the Mac in spite of strong sales for Unix boxes. This is interresting because it's indeed rare that a Unix title would strongly outsell a Mac title and shows just how far the Apple software market has - indeed - become quite soft. But the bigger bullet to bite on - is that the MacJihad continue to crow on about how (a) they have a bigger software base if you consider an emulation scheme a serious market base, and (b) how buying a Wintel machine is academic since with SoftWindows can provide you with the best of both worlds. It's interresting because, while the fruits out there will knee-jerk shout out this logic stream time and time again, they sure don't seem to be taking their own medicine in the process - as in actually BUYING the damn product. So what hopes are there that anyone else would be stupid enough to consider the alternative to buying a cheaper Wintel machine to begin with? You tell me. Softwindows didn't help NeXT one whit - and it certainly isn't helping Apple's case in the slightest. It will be interresting to see if it gets bundled into the iMac at all these days since while Insignia Solutions is going down the toilet, Apple refuses to bundle any software into their machines that Apple will actually have to pay for. You think Insignia will give their stuff away? Yadda Yadda Yadda. Oh yes - lastly -CompUSA looses money this quarter. I wonder if it's at all related to the inventory bloat they have of unsold Macintoshes, eh? Hmmmm.....almost makes me wonder if they'll have shelf space left over for those iMacs when they get released, and what impact this might have on initial orders. HMMMMMMM!